Side-long Glances

Hey you. I finally figured you out and that makes me smile.

Dandelion Wishes

I wish I was pretty
While holding my breath in tunnels
I wish I was pretty
While blowing on dandelion seeds
I wish I was pretty
While throwing a penny into a well
I wish I was pretty
On the first star of the night
I wish I was pretty
On a piece of paper and then burned
I wish I was pretty
On a broken wishbone
I wish I was pretty
On a four leaf clover
I wish I was pretty
On shooting stars
I wish I was pretty
On fallen eyelashes
I wish I was pretty
On rainbows
I wish I was pretty
More likely than
I wish I was loved

Dysfunctional

Let me insult my way into your heart.
Epithets as terms of endearment.
Make fun of my flaws,
don't comment on my beauty.
Hold conviction in your superiority.
Argue about inanities.
Hold me in your arms as we sleep.
Sit comfortable in our silence.
Feel my sarcasm like a wash of warmth.
Know that when I call you dork,
it means "I Love You"

Defective

I am a defective sex toy.
Not worthy of concern or care.
If my purpose is unfulfilled,
send me from your bed.
Send me away,
across water and roads and hours.
Without a kiss or kind word as payment,
I have not served my purpose-
to make you come,
with mouth or hand or cunt
I am defective,
send me back
I may be under warranty.

Teenagers

Hanging out in your room like teenagers,
clothes on,
lips locked,
music blaring,
red sheets
Making teenage mistakes

Kippa

I want a son
with a kippa
under the ball cap on his head.

With big eyes and a toothy smile.

Honey Do List

Show me you can take pain,
maybe even like it a little.
Have tattoos.
Have gauges.
Get jealous,
Get angry,
Get passionate.
Argue with me.
Tell me I'm wrong.
Fuck me like you mean it.
Hold me down as we kiss.
Throw me on the bed.
Push me against the wall.
Show me you hurt.
Let me fix that.
Try to fix me.
Want to fix me.
Hold me as i cry.
Let me cry when you can't.
Let me hold you when you can.
Be hard.
Be soft,
for only me.
Sing out of tune.
Shout on-key.
Teach me something i don't know.
Let me be right occasionally.
Dance with me in the living room.
Watch over my shoulder in the kitchen.
Wash my back in the shower.
Let me kiss your eye lids.
Let me kiss your nose.
Kiss me until i can't breathe.
Keep kissing me.
Make me gasp in the middle of the night.
Wake before me.
Drive the car.
Drive stick.
Forgive me when i forget your birthday.
Know that flowers are awesome,
occasionally.
Understand that i prefer anything you can use.
Make something with your hands.
Wear a cowboy hat.
Have scars.
Let some of those scars be visible.
Be damaged with me.
Like Johnny Cash.
Like Flogging Molly.
Like holding babies.
Be not completely sure of yourself.
Only show that to me.
Be quiet with me.
Know that a piece of paper isn't everything.
Be not completely sold on this marriage thing.
Be a traditionalist.
Support gay rights.
Be honest.
Be harsh.
Hurt me accidentally.
Be sincere.
Be concerned.
Trust me.
Let me trust you.
Trust me.
Trust yourself.
Trust me.

Smudged

it was the year of the arsonist. he had started with abandoned buildings before we moved to the county. a few small wooden skeletons with charred roof tops. the county had gotten smaller over the years, never large to begin with. we were shiny like brass pennies before someone 's thumbprint smudged the surface, though not so easily wiped clean. fallow fields and inky blackness st night. we began enjoying our life before the school year started, filed with dancing, bay swims and communal sunsets, sure that we could change our tiny world, one small child at a time.

Visuals

I tried to explain
that the cut of your body
made me feel small and safe,
that the indents of your stomach
made me want to lick every crevice,
how you were the equal
to the image of what I always wanted,
that just looking at you
made me happy

but you were confused by my words,
so I let them fall into the rhythm of your breathe.

Space

You've never slept there 
but the other side of this bed 
misses you.

Hey You

Hey you,
person who i think about
as i crawl into bed
and before i sleep
and when i wake up
and when i drive down the road
away from the bridge that leads to you.

Hey you,
the image of the man
who was above me
as you
smiled and i smiled.

Hey you,
the thought of raising kids
i'm not sure i want to have
and hope that i won't die alone.
Hey you.

Little Moments

the moment of pure potential when everything is about to happen in every way

St Thomas

the clearest image
is the moment when you smiled
while i looked through my lashes
as you pressed into me

Contentment

It is hard for me to explain because it is all
touch and contentment and
sweet simple flavors I can't name.
A moment with your face above mine,
the catch of your breath as I suck on you,
the heaviness of your hips 
on mine as you push into me,
pushing so hard that you would become part of me.
The unexpected retreat,
the question of if you should continue,
before returning to the between-world of sand falling into water.

Red Sheets

mouth and lips
catching my breathe
as i gasp
and grasp
for words
that can't return
because of the feel of you
above me.

make me weak
and at your command,
lick the lip
you just bit
to taste you
more.

Flowers

The girls who get flowers
are sweet
attractive
agreeable

Their faces make you smile
their voices make you laugh
they restore your faith in beauty
they make you comfortable

They are called 
cute 
beautiful
pretty
hot

We don't get flowers, you and I

Dissatisfied

You only smile when you sleep
but somehow you think
you are happy.

Moving On

I carry my past
with me in scars
and thought patterns
but when the phantasma
has nothing to hold onto,
does it really matter?

Untitled

At least I have my words.

Your Fool

I am a fool for you,

let you lead me
to the brink
when I know
where the edge is,
let you speak to me
of our past
and possible futures
knowing you will
disappear
when the future comes.

I am a fool for you,
but this fool laughs
at your lack of clothes