Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Collected Tough Love Rules

Ok, bitches. Some of us watch this fantastic show called Tough Love with the super sexy Steve Ward. Here are his rules, collected for your convenience.

Collected Tough Love Rules:

1: Don’t be weird.
2: Communication is tough.

4: Remember you date's name.

8: Never let a pretty face fool you.

12: Don’t go fishing for compliments

14a: Ladies, if you want to kiss a guy, get a little closer. Send the guy some signals.
14b: If you want a guy to kiss you; kiss him. Remember it takes two to tango.

19: No room for hypocrisy in dating. If you don’t date down, don’t expect dudes to.

20: If you never keep your ear to the ground, you'll never hear the buffalo coming.
21: Only text on a need to know basis

26: Approach everything with an open mind.

31: When revealing a secret, turn a negative into a positive.

33: When asking out a guy, try not to be nervous.

36: A partial truth is still a lie.

40: When a guy says something nice to you, it's a good thing. Don't argue with him, just say thank you.

44: Keep the past in the past.

48: Put a cork in it. Telling a guy how much you like to drink makes you sound like a loser.

55: Stop staring please.

58: Don’t bring up your wedding plans

59: Under any circumstances, do not fist-bump anyone you might wanna have sex with; it’s like having a tattoo on your knuckles that says “Just Friends”.

70: Less is more, especially when it comes to sexual partners.
71: Most guys love a good catfight. But none of them want to date the “cat”.

73: Don’t try to out think love. Love is emotional, not cerebral.

75: Shut your yap. Don’t give too much information
76: First date is never the time to air your dirty laundry
77: Don't try to hard. Faking sexy is like bad plastic surgery. It only takes a glance to know it ain't real.

84: Don’t assume that the guy you’re dating looks at a dollar bill the same way you do.

87: If you want to get to know a guy, don't speak with your mouth full.

91: Don’t use a secret as a weapon.



100: Everyone gets rejected.

Monday, January 25, 2010

12:37am

It is 12:37 on Monday morning
and I don't want to sleep
because I am excited
that I get to see you today.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Untitled

Clenched behind teeth
talking of thai
and tetris were the
words I wanted to ask:
Would you like to
go out sometime?

Monday, January 18, 2010

Colorblind

Tasting the sweet bite
on your tongue from
the Mexican Coke I
introduced you to is
somewhere between
green and red in
your world of
black, white and blue,
subtle and flavorful
simplistic and colorful
on lips still humming
from my kiss