...In ways many of you don't understand.
Some of you have known me from high school and the girl who couldn't keep her mouth shut about anything, who would talk to anyone and was significantly more popular than it ever occurred to her that she was.
Some of you know the girl from college, freshmen and sophomore year, the one who was shy in a crowd and always worried about what people thought.
Some of you only know who I am now, the reboot to Version 1.0, the person who still has some of the corruptions from Version 2 but the personality of version 1.
You know what? I like this person better. This person is probably slightly less cheery than the girl most of you know, a little more prone to sarcasm of the hurtful kind, a little more likely to take things seriously, but I can respect myself.
I've made my way through two abusive relationships, that tore me up and down, made me be who I never was before, and FINALLY, I've become willing to rely on myself. Embraced my pseduo-geekiness, my nerdiness and my extroversion, not as faults to be quieted, but instead as things that make me special. Things that, like Maggie says, are my little special brand of humor, to make puns of esoteric shows ans musicals just to see if anyone catches it but still be amused by a dumb blonde joke.
I know I probably haven't been the best friend I could to some of you and that is my fault, but I also know that friendship isn't one sided, it isn't being talked at and not responded to. For this I am thankful for my friends, most especially numbers 5, 6 and 7 on my speed dial. Those who not only hang with me but are there for me, even if you can't quite understand the words coming between my tears.
If you don't know who you are, true friends have had poems written about them. Even if I never hear from you again, I will treasure you in the capsule of words which I hoped would hold you.
