In Response

'"Many of us tried to make monogamy work," Wagner says. But monogamy, she says, often seemed to throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak. Its practitioners would break off "perfectly good relationships" just because of intellectual incompatibility, for example, or because one partner liked ballet and the other liked bowling. Doesn't it make more sense, polys ask, to keep the good parts of a relationship, and find another boyfriend who likes "Swan Lake"?' (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/12/AR2008021203072_3.html)

I can understand this articles attempt to explain polyamory in mundane terms, however, it is unrealistic to state that the relationships are based solely on the need to find other intellectual equals. There is a fundamental difference between the actions and beliefs of those engaged in polyamory and those whom practice monogamy. A slight divergence of interests in your partner is the reason many people have friends.  It is perfectly possible to have a monogamous relationship and get some intellectual stimulus from your friends. It is even possible to get physical comfort from these relationships and maintain monogamy. Cuddling, hugging and even kissing in some instances for some people, are non sexual. Therefore, the justification that polyamory is needed due to a disconnect between your favorite movie and theirs is completely worthless. I am not making a judgment call on polyamory, just like GLBTQ and religion, just because I don't agree or understand does not make it bad. My issue instead is that practice of justification which this article exemplifies. Do not say that the simple and only reason you are poly is a need to find intellectual equals because it is the worst type of bullshit I have ever heard. Instead state the truth, that you are poly because it is a lifestyle which appeals to you for multiple reasons and on multiple levels. No, it is not just about sex, not it is not just about relationships, and most certainly not, it is not just about finding people whom share your interests.


I apologize if I seem rude, but unfortunately this article appeared, at least to some extent, to be a self-rewarding, inaccurate, piece of tripe which while pretending to attempt understanding instead simply perpetuates the childish beliefs that everyone can have everything they want and it'll all work out. Bull shit.

This response is directed solely at the author of the article and is not intended to personally offend anyone. I am, however, always willing to listen and read your responses.