Pillow

in pajamas of innocence
i lay silent
don't you see the tears
falling

Clouds of Starkness

I'll watch you

spin in your fantasy world
wishing i were part of it
your head in my lap
and you smile in your sleep
you're so lovely
why does this feel wrong
2D and fluffy
clouds in the edges of my eye
as i watch the dream fade
and the horrors of reality become stark

Wise Man

i wish i trusted his words
to take away pain

It's still hard to say
"i'm better now"
because i don't always believe it

A man once told me,
(as i look down at stockinged legs
remembering blood
as it dripped from leg to tile)
i'd never be happy
not for lack of trying
or because i wasn't one of those precious "happy" people

but because no one is happy
we all have our good days
and our bad days
we all have days that are a little more good
and days that are a little more bad

i asked him if he was happy
he looked at the pot shards in my hand and said
"I'm absolutely miserable except when I forget to be happy"

i could have married that boy
with his ruddy cheeks
loving mind
british accent
and ability to care
if he hadn't been
one of the most important people in my life
already


** published in Creative Writing, Volume 1, 2004 Edition

Forgot

I forgot to smile
when he said "hello"
I forgot to do a lot of things
forgot to laugh at a joke
forgot to correct grammar
forgot to do anything
but refill my mug
3 parts bourbon
1 part coke
a cigarette
and a lack of caring


** published in Creative Writing, Volume 1, 2004 Edition

8 letters

I'll say
"Smile"
and she will
but the pain is still there

Art in hues of
Blacks and blues

but a hug
makes her smile
and 3 words
make her happy

8 letters of comfort
to make her grin.


** published in Creative Writing, Volume 1, 2004 Edition

Lace

They laugh upstairs
smokey haze and drunk adults
I stare at the TV
and attempt to be lost
in troubles of a girl named Lili
trying to find her mother